dulect:

when people say years young instead of years old

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(via mystcal)

titytwochainz:

remember when niggas had they voicemail set up to sound like they answered the phone. like you call and it go “wassup” u start talkin and it say “sike nah this my voicemail” now u lookin dumb as hell like

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(via mystcal)

rheaonce:

That’s why I have always been timid about sitting on someone’s face. I’m a thick girl. You need air to breathe. I’m not being the cause of anyone’s death. Imagine your obituary, “Died at 9:09 pm from suffocation of ass.” And your family members at the funeral glaring at me. No thank you.

(via mystcal)

mystcal:

inlikewithlife:

chaotic-awesome:

I Don’t Know How Much Vodka I Put In This But I’m Going To Drink It Anyways: a memoir

This drink tastes awful, but I can’t waste alcohol: a sequel

Im Really Drunk Already But Im Still Gonna Drink This Anyways: the trilogy